Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
