she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
