I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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