if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Don't tell me you're on acid again
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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