my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
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