I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
