guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
