I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
