he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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