i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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