STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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