soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
