this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I don't deserve a penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
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