i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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