question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
