It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
