Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i wish my penis had a tongue
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
