i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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