he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I'm always down for nudity.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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