I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
