I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
