Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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