You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
this is an emotional support booty call
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
