Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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