He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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