Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
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Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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