I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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