lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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