Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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