Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
