thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm passing your future prison.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
