Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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