I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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