the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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