You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
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I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
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Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize