I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
