Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
