giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
