My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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