You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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