i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
