some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
