Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
