woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
