hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
