hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
