He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
