you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
