I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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