I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
