smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
