sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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