We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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