therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
