It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
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