she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
