If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
last night I used snow as a chaser
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
