Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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