Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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