nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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