Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
