Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
