Taylor Swift is so right about you.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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