that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
